I’m writing this mostly as therapy for myself, but if anyone else can get something from it, that’s an amazing additional bonus. Unfortunately, I’m sort of an expert on this subject. Massive fuck ups. Some might say I have a knack for them. They’re my specialty.
Being a very dramatic, impulsive sort of person, who’s extra prone to getting carried away, I’ve made more than my fair share of massive no-nos. So here’s my ever-evolving list of ways to handle things, after you’ve made a big mistake:
Apologise, because you know you’re wrong. A sincere apology shows you can swallow your pride long enough to put another person’s feelings first for a lil minute. We all hate doing it but, it’s necessary.
Make peace offerings
In the past, I’ve always found, that after a little time, giving an invitation or a small meaningful gift to the offended party, is a good way to start making amends. It’s a token of your good intentions, and shows you’re committed to fixing things.
Laughter really is the best medicine
I don’t mean be insensitive, but finding the humour in a situation is a good way to help everybody involved feel better, chances are, unless the incident that’s occurred is absolutely disastrous, you’ll all be laughing about it in time.
Know when you’ve apologised enough
You’ve apologised sincerely, you’ve tried to make amends, you’ve done everything you can do except give it time. The person in question can either accept your apologies, refuse them or drag out the situation for as long as possible. Don’t force yourself into anyone’s life, but at the same time, you do deserve respect, don’t let anyone prolong your suffering or guilt simply for their own satisfaction.
Always a lesson
Even if you can’t see the bright side in a situation, there probably is one, you’ve just gotta look really really really close. You’ve probably learned something about yourself, and that’s never a bad thing.
Get back on the horse
No matter how ashamed or embarrassed you feel after your ‘big mistake’, make sure you don’t isolate yourself. I’ve done this before and it only makes everything a million times worse. Instead, speak to people you love and trust, family and close friends. Get different perspectives on your situation, older and wiser people can usually shed some light and make everything seem a little smaller than it might feel to you. Get out, have fun, be kind, don’t waste your life away feeling guilty.
Forgive yourself, love yourself
At the end of the day, we are all human, everyone on Earth will do something stupid at some point, and hurt the people they love. Don’t be too hard on yourself.